How can this man be an athlete?
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 165
Favorite color: plaid
Quotable Quotes: "Dammit, Hannibal! I ain't gettin on no airplane!"
| Matt Taylor | |
How can this man be an athlete? |
Matt, our third captain and Lewis Skolnik impersonator; is roughly 29 years old and doesn't have enough
credits to graduate. Matt is one of the team's top athletes whose jumping ability once provoked John-0 to
comment; "Look at that monkey boy". A broken collarbone at the hands of a reckless driver; who was
definitely not intoxicated, has sidelined Matt for much of the season. This has given him time to develop
his already prodigious legs to an uncontrollable size and the ability to breathe fire. Matt's sincere,
positive approach to life and his amiable demeanor leave him wanted by all as a companion but by a select
few as their part-time lover; a request that is often denied, leaving the rest of us questioning his
sexuality. Matt is currently not reciprocating interest in several female companions but is always accepting
applications. No fatties. We're hoping Matt has one more good season in him before he dies of some injury.
Has lost the following body parts: left pinky, upper right incisor, left half of groin, pyloric sphincter.
Height: 5'11" |