| Joshua Patrick Ream |
 Josh was the first person in his family to goto college |
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Mr. Josh Ream is the single largest anomaly FIST has ever seen. Reigning from the land of the little people, Josh is miniature in every attribute except for his enormous feet. He has a strange fetish for midget reality TV shows and to this day still marvels over the fact that 42 little people nearly beat an elephant in an airplane pulling contest that aired in FOX’s ‘Man versus Beast: Part I.’ Ream is an avid comic book collector and video game shark, priding himself as the second person to ever play through all of Grand Theft Auto 4. The first person to accomplish this feat was Curtis Beard. Ream does all of this and still manages to have a hot girlfriend on the Illini Dance Team. He once had to pay $100 to keep her from ‘some hairy dude’ in a date auction. Ream never sees the team outside of practice, but has somehow organized more things than most members of the team combined. Josh is surprisingly a good athlete, mainly in oddball activities like capture the flag and whiffle ball. He claims to be able to make a whiffle ball move in any of six directions. This could be true since he has struck out Nick more times than Papsmear has struck out at Brothers. At Huck Finn one year, Ream got skied in the cup by a six year old girl according to Matt Clarke, who may or may not have been dating her at the time. Josh has at least four more years of school left, ala Jim Bang. He also has read more books than anyone that has ever played ultimate that still cannot get on the fun rides at amusement parks. One of Ream’s most cherished moments was demonstrating the greatest turn-around reverse tabletop maneuver in the history of table-topping on Nate ‘The Boss’ Bosscher. For this, the Boss compressed Ream by two inches with his bare hands.
Height: 1 JR |