Koltse blows a foot block
I can't show you the bottom of this picture
Height: 5'10"
Weight: A hymen-busting 150 lbs
Will one day: Fulfill Jarrett's role as "slacker-captain"
Quotable Quotes: "We're not building the MIR space station here"
| John Koltse | |
Koltse blows a foot block
|
Sometime in 1980, Gorgeous George and Mary Jane Koltse went out to see The Empire Strikes Back.
They came home late, had some wine coolers and conceived their first born son. As the years went by,
the chrome tycoon and his wife would teach young John the marvels of skiing, extreme music, and the
mystery of the Texas Cloverleaf. Widely acknowledged by his teammates to be a sexy bitch, Koltse remains
loveless in the prime of his youth. If he were two years older, he would be involved in a polygamous
relationship with 75% of the women's team. A second year player, Koltse distinguished himself with his
tough D, offensive quickness and flying ass drops on team captains. Reigning Tecmo Bowl champion, John
also enjoys wearing his Sauconys, which are much admired by his roommates. He is most likely to be
found on the slopes or listening to Rage in his dungeon-like chamber of horrors. He will one day wed the
Viking princess who works at the Canopy Club and create a brood of Norse children in his own likeness.
If anybody knows this chick, Koltse can be reached at 355-8781.
Height: 5'10" |