| Christopher Charles Hagen | |
 The downside of prosthetics. |
 Hagen mischeviously contemplates his next move. |
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The brainchild of an early eighties NASA Space Camp graduate, Chris is the third generation prototype
of the C13L60-A HomoCyborg superhuman. But, like the scarecrow without a brain, the lion without balls,
and the tin man without a heart, Chris was born without an Anterior Cruciate Ligament. This grave
oversight by "God", as Chris lovingly calls his creator, has rendered our adorable android useless on
the field. But luckily Chris was able to fashion a replacement ligament out of pipe cleaners and
Popsicle sticks. So he should be able to 'function at maximal capacity' as soon as his biosynthetic body
assimilates the new materials. Until then we have him wired into our computer system to ensure that no
one hacks in and interrupts Krang's MUDs. Despite his cyborg upbringing, after coming to college Hagen
has tested all imaginable limits. His daring ventures have stretched the well established boundaries of
touchy subjects like cheesywurst consumption, good taste, and heterosexuality. As a result, no one's
certain where he's gonna go next, but it's sure to be alarming.
Height: 6'0" |
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