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The result of Mike's careful grooming is a gelled up
version of Ryan from FOX's The OC, except that Mike
isn't from Chino, unless you consider
Grayslake to be Chino,
which would make you retarded. And since the ying
rarely comes without the yang, Matt rarely grooms himself unless it's in a
bathtub and Mike is doing the scrubbing. Well, Mike can't really reach past
Matt's lower back, but who has time for that when you're the perfect size to
play in your brother's asshole all day. Amanda Clarke, their Mom, told them
they were twins to hide the shameful fact that she once had sex with Shawn
Bradley and a no-name jockey within a 3 hour period. Both are extremely
underrated ultimate players. Mike with his disgusting up the line cuts, and
Matt with his selfless
'gratuitous-layout-everything-I-catch-must-be-flourished-at-the-end'
attitude. Mike has lost more in 20 years than most people lose in a lifetime.
Even more than Nate lost at Calvin College
which was predestined. Matt will balloon up like a fat ass 2 months after he
stops playing ultimate as his body tries to overcompensate for being a
malnourished Ethiopian for so long.
Matt and Mike's exciting new movie
MATT
Height: 3 skyscrapers
Weight: 1 bundle of straw
Nickname: The scarecrow, stilts, A-bomb, cricket
Quotes: after many power pacing circles "What the hell was that
for!"
MIKE
Height: 4 inches
Weight: 10 grams
Nickname: frogger, the Professor, ratchet
Quote: "Nutrition is not just a hobby, it is my passion."
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