| coach Bill Branson | |
 Bill consoles Matt Damon in a riveting |
Bill, a smug little man with a heart of gold, has singlehandedly brought our miserable team from the
depths of flow offense to a more mathematical way of living; and we hate him for it. The only coach
in college ultimate with more sweaters than Bill Cosby. Bill invented the kneebrace shortly after the
advent of the wheel. Nobody knows how old he is or where he came from, so we all plan to play it safe
and never ask.
Currently in the 5th year of his PhD dissertation, Bill plans on going to school forever or until
Krang becomes the captain.
Height: in the words of Jacob: "I don't know how tall he is-don't piss him off. Put 6'4" |